Your inner Werewolf – three easy rules to keep it in check

Everone, not just women, has a lycanthropic side. For some this is revealed under stress, for some it requires caffeine to reign in, and for some, well, let’s just call it lunar and leave it at that.

There’s no way to prevent the werewolf part of you from taking over now and then. What you need to do is put restrictive measures in place so that your interactions while in werewolf form are at a minimum, which helps prevent ripped jugulars, crushed skulls and awkward explanations of the fresh blood stains and muddy paw prints. But, you’ve probably already experienced the aftermath of an uncontrolled werewolf rage and had to pick up the pieces.

So, how do you prevent the carnage?

First, know your trigger! I am not a morning person. My werewolf, however, is. The only way to keep him under control is to consume quite large doses of caffeine. Unfortunately, the caffeine delivery system of choice is on my way to work. I make sure that I don’t have to interact in any kind of meaningful way before 10. This means no blog comments, no tweeting and most of all, no meetings. Anyone I do have to interact with understands that asking for things first thing in the morning is likely result in their head being bitten off.

Your trigger may be very different, but I guarantee you know what it is. It might be talking to idiots, stress, stress caused by dealing with idiots, traffic, idiots in traffic, low blood sugar, the Dragon (although the werewolf may help you here some of the time) and of course, idiots. Once you start to see the recurring theme, you can try and avoid it.

Second, Know how to take control of the werewolf. My werewolf form craves caffeine. The only reason blood is ever involved is when it stands between me and the caffeine delivery system. Trust me, this is not where you want to stand. Hippos and water have nothing on Werewolf Gareth and caffeine. You may have other methods for bringing the werewolf back under control, meditation, sleep or heavy metal at full volume. The important thing is to know what works and to have it available.

Finally, know when to apologise for becoming a humanitarian (something that eats humans). It’s going to happen. Some people just have a knack for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and others are just idiots. If the person inadvertantly stumbled across you while the werewolf was dominant, a heartfelt apology and offering to pay for the medical bills is the accepted approach. If the person is just an idiot, well, you should probably apologise (but it doesn’t have to be heartfelt).

That’s all, 3 simple rules. Follow them and you should be able to function as a “normal” member of society, without anyone needing to find out about your animalistic tendencies.

This is a special post. It is part of a promotional tour of blogs put together by Katie Elzer-Peters from The Garden of Words to promote her friend Christine Johnson’s new book, Claire de Lune, which a novel about a 16 year old girl who happens to be a werewolf. A bunch of different bloggers who write about all sorts of different things (except werewolves) are participating. You can find other blogs that are participating in this unique promotional tour here.  Fight Mediocrity is participating because it looked like fun, I like to read, and, I needed an excuse to write about werewolves other than “because they’re cool”.

Claire de Lune by Christine Johnson - Cover

10 Responses to Your inner Werewolf – three easy rules to keep it in check
  1. Christine Johnson Books
    May 18, 2010 | 2:38 pm

    I LOVE this post – so fun! And FTR, my inner werewolf craves caffeine, too. And Claire of CLAIRE DE LUNE loves coffee . . . I think you've hit on something here! Thanks for the post !

  2. Katie
    May 18, 2010 | 6:08 pm

    LOL! Unfortunately, I do become a bit werewolfy at times 🙂 I think this is a great post with sound advice for the workplace, whether you are a werewolf or not! Knowing my triggers is a big one!

  3. Jane Bradbury
    May 19, 2010 | 6:47 am

    I don't know what my werewolf craves, not caffeine really, possibly a cup of tea? The only time people get short shrift from me is when I'm overtired or in a lot of pain. I can't handle idiots when I'm in pain.

  4. Gareth
    May 19, 2010 | 8:11 am

    Thanks. It was a blast to participate. Look forward to helping with something similar for your next book.

  5. Gareth
    May 19, 2010 | 8:12 am

    The problem with the workplace is there are times when it feels like a little skull crushing and jugular ripping is what is required.

    sigh, I'll have to settle for just reading about it.

  6. Gareth
    May 19, 2010 | 8:18 am

    At least that means you can handle idiots most of the time. The more desperately I'm in need of caffeine, the more likely I am to brand people idiots.

  7. BirdyD
    June 21, 2010 | 5:44 pm

    Oh, don't I know this! It's part of the reason I hide at home most of the time. So much triggers it these days, and I just don't like the Not-Nice Person I turn into.

    Kyool book promotion idea – will have to go take a look. 🙂

  8. Gareth
    June 24, 2010 | 1:30 pm

    My better half keeps telling me to “Find my Vino” (her horse is called Vino) Essentially, that thing that no matter what else happens, it'll make you happy.

    Needless to say, I haven't found it yet, so caffeine will have to do.

  9. Djp
    September 30, 2013 | 6:22 am

    I’m just a regular guy I know to young I’m 13 and the trigger for mine is late or medium state puberty so I have time so far I got God he backs me up once at night my bro seen me transform he tells the truth if he doesnt done for and I’m dead serious there were even pictures of me I was only man wolf looking

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