Taunting the Dragon for fun and profit

The biggest problem with Dragon hunting is that most of the time, when you’re ready to take on the Dragon, you can’t find him. There are things you can do to improve the chances of meeting him on your terms.  By far the best of these is to taunt him.

Now, there are many ways to taunt the Dragon, from the well thought out detailed taunt in which you declare a product launch date before the product is finished and you’re entering the winter hibernation cycle (yes, you know who you are;) ), to the crude impulse driven one of starting dragon slaying training sessions, the taunts have a few things in common.

The purpose of the taunt is to draw the Dragon out of hiding.  There are three common things all taunts must have in order to achieve this.

First, the taunt needs to singal your intent.  There is nothing that the Dragon hates more than those who point to the outfield, and then pull it off, so he’ll do everything in his power to prevent you smacking it out the park.  This even includes coming out of his cave to hunt you down.  So, when crafting your taunt, you can’t just moon him and hope for the best.  You have to have something concrete that you intend doing.

Second, the intent must be something that is going to cause the Dragon’s life to be a little more difficult in future, either by humiliating him and making it easier for others to laugh off his clumsy attacks, or by providing others with a Dragon Slaying walkthrough.  Taunting the Dragon with “Um, I think I might possibly, like perhaps um, maybe decide to help people in some manner that I haven’t determined yet” is not going to cut it, unless your intent is to get him rolling around laughing.  You need to Taunt him with something like “I’m going to teach others to conquer fear so they can face the Dragon with confidence and kick him where it hurts!” or “I’m going to teach others how to train their Steed of Righteousness and master the use of the Shield of Talent”  Both of those will make his life more difficult by helping future Dragon Slayers get their own Dragon Head Trophy.

Finally, the taunt has to come from the heart.  Taunting the Dragon with “I want to make money online so I can go do things!” is all well and good, if making money is your thing.  But for most people, making money is soulless.  If you don;t include any heart in the taunt, it’s not going to have the conviction required to reach the Dragon’s ears.  If the Dragon never hears it, he’s not going to come out of his cave.  If you’re stuck on this one (and I know it’s the trickiest bit) you need to go for a ride on your Steed, talk to your trainers and remember why you’re going up against the Dragon in the first place.  Then put that passion into the cry.

That’s all there is to drawing the Dragon out.  Passionately signalling your clear intent to do battle and pave the way for others will get him to attack you everytime, guaranteed.

If you want additional information on defeating the Dragon of Mediocrity, or any of the other beasts you’ll encounter, sign up for the Dragon Slayer’s Training Program and be the first to receive all the information the Dragon doesn’t want you to know.


2 Responses to Taunting the Dragon for fun and profit
  1. Jane Bradbury
    May 20, 2010 | 6:44 am

    “Um, I think I might possibly, like perhaps um, maybe decide to help people in some manner that I haven’t determined yet”

    I love this line! I can just hear myself saying it. However, I am taking steps that will do exactly what you describe here – taunt the Dragon. I should have a decent plan by the weekend!

  2. Gareth
    May 20, 2010 | 5:03 pm

    Excellent. let me know if you need any help (even if it's just as Dragon bait)

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